Sunday, May 4, 2014

Trading Mystery for Security ~ When the Life You’re Living is Someone Else’s

We don’t get out of life alive. If we love our kin, our tribe, our family, it only makes sense to offer our time, talent, and energy to make them proud, pleased, and happy. If we are married, part of loving our mate seems to entail the willing sacrifice of life’s choices and commitments to and for the sake of the communion. If we belong to a faith community & hold sacred truths and time-tested values in common, it’s very nature point to service and stewardship as well as spiritual disciplines & practices worth developing.

But what happens when we have done all the right things for the right reasons and we are still miserable? What happens when the life we are living is someone else’s life? James Hollis says …”when certain principles, energies, values are denied, or have been pushed to exhaustion, they cease to function as sources of vitality.” What happens when we offer up our engagement with the mystery that is life for security?  Upon deeper analysis of the inner malaise we discover this misery that we are disowning appears now as an uprising. Now, the security all these values and actions represent seem to bring outrage to the soul rather than peace. They manifest symptoms of depression, unruly discordant envy and jealousy.  We have what we wanted & it still feels like loss & absence. How could this be?


What we have become in our jobs, our marriages, our faith communities, our creative enclaves, is now frequently the obstacle to us being who we were called to be. Most likely someone else must point out to us that we have chosen security over the mystery. Upon a deeper pondering I now begin to realize the true price of the success or approval I had sought for so long & so diligently. The soul is making demands and I have lost my nerve. My failure to grow is due to excessive attachments to the very things that are killing me. Blind acceptance & a satiated sense of being the rewards of my past used to be enough. I could bath in my projected wins, things conquered, accolades received, dreams partially met. But the journey, the life, now is on hold. I have stopped longing for the wonder & revelation. I am living life in reverse.

The imagination plays such a powerful role in this encounter with the soul’s enigmatic nature. Boredom is the pathology of the depressed or the unimaginative. I have discovered a few things about how my imagination drives this forward motion of the soul. Security over growth always is accompanied with a deep sense of inner smallness. Now my curiosity and sense of exploration, so vital to my experience of longing, begins to whither and wane. Why learn, why experience the new, why risk anything at all? But the soul is in exile & it cries out to reengage the journey.

The journey metaphor has played a primary narrative role in my life. Calling as well implies travel and travel implies journey. To hear & to listen is to follow the call and to follow the call is to live one’s life as if it were their own.

Hollis goes on to say, “We all set off expecting the achievement of our goals to bring long lasting satisfaction. It is not the goals that are unworthy, as such, but that they so often become tempting stopping places for the soul, cul-de-sacs where we decline the invitation to trade still more mystery for security.” Apparently something more is being ask of us. 

In my brief lifetime I have often made some of life’s goals destinations. But the soul will not consider mystery for safekeeping or refuge. The soul does not consider this an even trade. The invitation, the summons of my soul beckons louder and louder as I turn away from its call. Rilke said that our task in life is to be defeated by even larger things. Now, in the second half of life’s journey, I am emptied of some of the hubris of my youthful ego’s pretense. Knowing now that this beckoning towards enlargement will undoubtedly bring some degree of failure and loss, I count the costs differently, & I weigh my resolve with great care & stewardship. But when I take my lead from the familiar postures of soul, my companions of lethargy and fear sound obsessed with security & are no longer able to feed the soul’s deepest longings. I am learning that uncertainty is still my closest companion, still my most reliable & trustworthy muse, and still the “divine discomforter” needed to wake me up to hear the call, sing the song, light the fire, & pour my very being out to heighten the blaze. A mystery driven life is a beautiful incendiary - a fire starter to burn away the dross & light the dim lit path my soul deems part of the journey.

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